When AIM Met The Cullens
by ContortedxReality
Summary: Yep, this is when the Cullens and a few others on the way discover aim. Funny, witty, read and review! Written with Dana and Gabi
1. Edward and Jasper

**VolvoLovinEdward-Edward**

**IxFeelxUrFeelins-Jasper**

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:30:54 PM): Hullo Jasper.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:31:00 PM): HOLA EDUARDO

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:31:53 PM): /pres.php?id370617&altfFexbse&altlDvmmfo

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:32:04 PM): Edward, when were you going to tell us about this?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:32:52 PM): Oh um.. I thought you wouldn't notice.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:32:56 PM): Do you think you have an advantage over this just because you can read minds?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:33:01 PM): You know what Edward?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:33:07 PM): That hurts. That hurts deep.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:33:29 PM): See but it says thousands of people are voting for me.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:33:34 PM): Your just jealous.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:33:40 PM): And you didn't even tell your own FAMILY

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:33:44 PM): I'm so hurt!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:34:26 PM): Well I told Bella..

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:34:33 PM): Have you seen her by the way?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:34:44 PM): I think she's planning something with Alice...

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:34:48 PM): Really?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:34:56 PM): I thought I felt something.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:35:00 PM): Should I go ask?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:35:15 PM): Alice has been reciting the alphabet in every single language since this morning.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:35:28 PM): She doesn't want me to know something...

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:35:43 PM): Really?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:35:58 PM): Speaking of alphabets, do you happen to have a copy of "123 I can read" in Arabic?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:35:58 PM): Hmm... Well maybe I'll just have "trick" it out of Bella.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:36:04 PM): I can't find mine.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:36:17 PM): Wow... you read things like that..?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:36:27 PM): It's not like I can sleep or anything

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:36:32 PM): And I borrowed it from YOU

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:36:39 PM): No you didn't...

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:36:52 PM): Then who did I borrow it from?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:36:54 PM): Why would you read that at night?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:37:02 PM): Probably Jacob...

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:37:04 PM): What else is there to read?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:37:09 PM): Ohh right, Jake!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:37:17 PM): Mongrel.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:37:21 PM): Yeah, that mans really serious about his Arabic.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:37:29 PM): You should feel the VIBES I get when he studies

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:37:34 PM): It's intense.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:37:44 PM): Wow I didn't think he had it in him.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:37:52 PM): I didn't even know he reads...

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:38:01 PM): well he writes doesn't he?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:38:14 PM): Yes, but it's very messy.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:38:27 PM): Edward.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:38:34 PM): You know how Bella feels about racists.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:38:38 PM): tsk tsk

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:39:38 PM): What does... Fo Sho mean?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:39:47 PM): Bella was using it the other day..

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:39:51 PM): Uhm, I believe it's slang for

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:39:56 PM): For Sure

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:40:03 PM): Oh, right.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:40:06 PM): Fo sho.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:40:07 PM): Why was she using such obscene language?!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:40:14 PM): Did you let her out in da hood by herself!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:40:28 PM): Since when do you use that language?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:40:31 PM): ..

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:40:59 PM): Don't try to lie to me Edward, I can feel the guild just rolling off your skin.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:42:24 PM): Um okay..

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:42:59 PM): You let her into the 'hood by herself, didn't you!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:43:04 PM): Darn you Edward, DARN YOU

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:45:23 PM): yt?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:45:39 PM): JASPER! STOP THINKING THAT! I see you're thinking of Bella in 'da hood' all alone being attacked.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:45:53 PM): That's not very brotherly of you.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:46:05 PM): But that's what you did.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:46:08 PM): Isn't it?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:46:17 PM): No I haven't let her out of my sight..

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:46:20 PM): Except today

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:46:26 PM): OH NO! ALICE!!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:46:32 PM): What?

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:46:39 PM): Is Alice hurt !?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:46:56 PM): I think Alice took Bella to a strip club or something in a dark alley...

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:47:04 PM): Oh my

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:47:13 PM): My Alice is in a strip club?!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:47:23 PM): Edward, I don't care what you say, I'm going to get them!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:47:27 PM): Catch you later!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:47:27 PM): God! Can you only think of Alice!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:47:32 PM): Fine.

IxFeelxUrFeelins went away at 6:47:42 PM.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:47:52 PM): I'm coming with you.

**Auto Response from IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:47:52 PM): Getting my baby from the strip club!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:47:58 PM): Hurry up

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:48:06 PM): I'm in the car, texting from the phone.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:48:55 PM): Okay me too.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:49:15 PM): Let's go save our women!

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:49:37 PM): Edward, you're right next to me.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:49:44 PM): Do you really feel the need to IM me?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (6:49:51 PM): Oh um. Yeah I got caught up in the moment..

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:49:57 PM): Interesting.

**IxFeelxUrFeelins** (6:50:00 PM): Now let's go!

IxFeelxUrFeelins signed off 6:47:59 PM.

VolvoLovinEdward signed off 6:48:35 PM.

A.N

Starring -

Dana! As Edward!

and

Lauren! as Jasper!

Enjoy the beginning to our comical IM convos! Read&Review!


	2. Edward, Alice, and Bella

**VolvoLovinEdward-Edward**

**ExtraSexyPsychic-Alice**

**xOx EdwardLover-Bella**

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:15:57 PM): ALICE!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:16:05 PM): I was thinking...

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:16:20 PM): She dosen't get much action from you, and she would appreciate the attention!

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:16:25 PM): wink wink nudge nudge

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:16:47 PM): Are you saying I'm not good enough in action?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:16:53 PM): IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:17:01 PM): Not in the kind of action Bella wants!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:17:27 PM): What like taking bella to strip clubs so men can goggle and her vampire hottness?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:17:36 PM): I DON'T WANT OTHER MEN GOGGLING AT HER!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:17:40 PM): THAT'S MY JOB!

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:17:42 PM): Oh come on Edward

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:17:51 PM): It's not like I didn't giver her the talk

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:18:02 PM): YOU WHAT?!

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:18:05 PM): When a mommy Bella and a daddy Edward love eachother very much...

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:18:10 PM): You know, that one!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:18:24 PM): Wait.. Have you been telling this to Renesmee?

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:18:31 PM): Of course not!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:18:39 PM): I CAN READ YOUR MIND!! I SEE IT!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:18:52 PM): Ugh. Don't poison our little Nessie's mind.

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:18:59 PM): She was curious.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:19:04 PM): I don't want her getting any ideas for Jacob!

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:19:07 PM): She happened to find a copy of some book...

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:19:10 PM): Breaking Dawn

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:19:14 PM): And she wondered.

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:19:49 PM): Hmm. I'll have to confiscate this so called "Breaking Dawn"

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:19:56 PM): Edward

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:20:01 PM): YOU WROTE THE DAMN THING

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:20:17 PM): Um.. No I didn't..

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:20:26 PM): Hmm, let me go flip through it...

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:20:39 PM): Edward Cullen... Isabella Marie... Renesmee...

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:20:43 PM): Hmm, seem familiar?

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:20:49 PM): No..

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:21:07 PM): Really?

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:21:14 PM): Well Hello, mr thimblenub!

**VolvoLovinEdward** (7:21:20 PM): Erm.

**ExtraSexyPsychic** (7:21:34 PM): I THOUGHT I was talking to Edward Cullen, but apparently you aren't familiar with that term.

**ExtraSexyPsychic, VolvoLovinEdward, and xOx EdwardLover have entered the chatroom.**

ExtraSexyPsychic has entered the room.

ExtraSexyPsychic: Bella!

VolvoLovinEdward: Oh Um okay.

ExtraSexyPsychic: Awesome night, eh ?!

xOx EdwardLover: Hey Edward.

ExtraSexyPsychic: hint hint nudge nudge wink wink

xOx EdwardLover: OH YEAH!! WOOOHOO WHAT A RUSH!

VolvoLovinEdward: Bella!

ExtraSexyPsychic: See Edward!

xOx EdwardLover: Edward..?

ExtraSexyPsychic: I TOLD you she would like itt!

VolvoLovinEdward: God Bella!

VolvoLovinEdward: I thought you loved me

ExtraSexyPsychic: I LOVE YOU EDWARD

ExtraSexyPsychic: xP

xOx EdwardLover: I do Eddy!

VolvoLovinEdward: Bella! You know I don't like to be called Eddy!

ExtraSexyPsychic: Edward, be calm.

ExtraSexyPsychic: She's still on a high.

xOx EdwardLover: Yeah Eddy!

xOx EdwardLover: EDDY BOY!

xOx EdwardLover: EDDY KINS!

VolvoLovinEdward: ..

ExtraSexyPsychic: It's surprising what pole dancing can do to a girl!

VolvoLovinEdward: WHAT?!

VolvoLovinEdward: BELLA!

ExtraSexyPsychic: Wait, did I say poledancing?

xOx EdwardLover: Yes Eddy?

ExtraSexyPsychic: No, she did NOT pole dance!

VolvoLovinEdward: face palm

ExtraSexyPsychic: What was I thinking?

VolvoLovinEdward: Alice! I thought you said vampires can't get drunk!

ExtraSexyPsychic: They can't.

xOx EdwardLover: Hey Eddy! Watchya doin tonight?

VolvoLovinEdward: And you call this not drunk?

ExtraSexyPsychic: I call this

ExtraSexyPsychic: Horomones Raging

VolvoLovinEdward: Ugh! You've been poisoning my sweet Bella's mind!

xOx EdwardLover: I'M NOT POISONED EDDY! I JUST WANNA GET IT ON!

VolvoLovinEdward: Yeah.. Okay..

ExtraSexyPsychic: Okay...

ExtraSexyPsychic: Getting just a lil awkward in heree...

VolvoLovinEdward: I think I'm just going to go now..

ExtraSexyPsychic: tugs on collar

ExtraSexyPsychic: As am I...

xOx EdwardLover: NO EDDY! BUT WHAT ABOUT US GETTIN IT ON!

ExtraSexyPsychic: Bye Edward!

ExtraSexyPsychic: Bye Bella!

VolvoLovinEdward: Bye..

ExtraSexyPsychic: Good luck with the uhm

ExtraSexyPsychic: Yeah.

VolvoLovinEdward: See you later, love.

ExtraSexyPsychic: Byee!

**ExtraSexyPsychic has left the room.**

xOx EdwardLover: NO DON'T LEAVE ME!

**VolvoLovinEdward has left the room.**

xOx EdwardLover: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

xOx EdwardLover: I'm all alone..

I am so lonely.

I have nobody.

To call my OWWWWN!

**xOx EdwardLover has left the room.**

A.N

Lauren - Alice

Dana- Edward + Bella


End file.
